On March 15, 2021, there was a dumpster fire at my husband's office building that was accidentally started by one of his employees. After much huffing and puffing from the higher-ups, it was all health with, but now we honor the dumpster fire every year. My husband builds some sort of tiny dumpster and we light it on fire, along with popsicle sticks with our own personal dumpster fires from the last year written on them. I will add your fallopian tubes to the fire this year, in honor of their retirement on that date.
Sorry about the poor blood numbers and tubes in and out (if you catch my drift ;). And more procedures, ugh! As a women’s health specialist I’vd done both oophorectomies (fun fact, both “o’s” are pronounced) and salpingectomies. I HOPE 6 weeks recovery is an overstatement. I mean maybe until all your pain is way gone but my patients are up and about pretty quickly so fingers crossed. As a cancer patient myself I know not to be super optimistic about rapid recoveries not like B.C. (before cancer) when 40 year old bodies behaved appropriately. As a youngin’ dealing with untimely menopause — talk with your team about ALL the ways to treat sleep disruption and hot flashes because those are gnarly and might be zero, or could be months to years. Could this be home stretch?? Is that sinking in? Have you burned your chemo hats yet? Thinking I will have a nice BBQ if I get some fuzz back.
Oh, this is hilarious, and I 100 percent endorse the dark humor as coping for life being so life-y you cannot cope in plain English. Prayers for all of the above.
Hilarious and can’t wait for more company updates. In fact, what are the chances this company is hiring? Would like to submit my resume as all of us would be so fortunate to be part of a culture with humor, truth, faith, trust, and hope as its clear foundations. Prayers for answers to your low blood count, successful surgery/recovery, retirement of all things necessary (they’ve worked hard and deserve R&R) and a birthday celebration that does not include a colonoscopy as the main attraction!! Also, how nice of the hospital to mix up their mornings and nights putting AM on your birth certif - must have known you’d need that advantage later!
Prayers always and Happy Birthday! I'm so excited to know we are March birthday buddies!
I have a message from your pinky toes who have been tucked up all winter and thus missed the recent company-wide all-hands meeting. They told me they will miss their lifelong co-workers, but are very much looking forward to meeting the new members of the team poolside at the next corporate outing. They also want to emphasize that they have been solidly supportive of the team since day one (I told them not to exaggerate, that beyond a few entertaining wiggles, they were unable to reach their full promise until about day 365).
Thinking of you, Laura, as March 15 approaches. So many thoughts and prayers -- and mine -- will be with you, and also during your recovery! We are all so grateful for your gift of words and humor, especially in this hilarious (and insightful) series of memorandums! You remind us to step back and touch base with holy humor. Oh, oh -- I feel a metaphor coming on (baseball) and so know I had better sign off. Your talent is a great gift!
We appreciate the updates sent thus far and the ways you have acknowledged the hard work of our colleagues. They have tirelessly served this corpus for many years.
As per usual, lungs have also been hard at work and we wish to underscore the breadth of support provided by our department these many months. We have doubled down our efforts to provide precious O2 to corpus throughout various procedures, anxiety attacks, crying jags, and parasympathetic engagement. Lest we not be taken for granted, like head and heart, we are essential for corpus to function through these unforeseen challenges to our beloved corpus.
We will continue to maximize our efforts to support corpus through supporting the 2024 Company Vision. We are poised to position this corpus for continued engagement in the months ahead and are tracking our progress appropriately.
We wish to send kudos to head and heart for their resilience and fortitude these many, many months and also to give a shout out to @feet for helping corpus walk alongside outside consultants even when they felt paralyzed.
Love how your brain works! Sorry to hear about the shitty red blood cell issues!! GRR! Will be praying for those to turn around, and NO COLONOSCOPY (on birthday or otherwise) + all the other things. XO
I love this so much!! Dark humor can be a good side kick in times like these. Prayers coming for the pesky red blood cells. Medical mysteries are only intriguing in movies/tv - in real life, they just suck.
Best thing I’ve read in a while!!! So funny. So real.
Also, I have subscribed to the TNP “Insomnia Prayers” distribution list and added it to my safe senders list so that I don’t miss anything.
Meanwhile on the employee Slack channel:
“@management - way to keep us abreast of the situation! We appreciate the periodic updates!”
“@replacement right and @replacement left: Welcome!! Let us know if you need any support!”
“@blood - we’re counting on you!”
On March 15, 2021, there was a dumpster fire at my husband's office building that was accidentally started by one of his employees. After much huffing and puffing from the higher-ups, it was all health with, but now we honor the dumpster fire every year. My husband builds some sort of tiny dumpster and we light it on fire, along with popsicle sticks with our own personal dumpster fires from the last year written on them. I will add your fallopian tubes to the fire this year, in honor of their retirement on that date.
This is amazing!
Sorry about the poor blood numbers and tubes in and out (if you catch my drift ;). And more procedures, ugh! As a women’s health specialist I’vd done both oophorectomies (fun fact, both “o’s” are pronounced) and salpingectomies. I HOPE 6 weeks recovery is an overstatement. I mean maybe until all your pain is way gone but my patients are up and about pretty quickly so fingers crossed. As a cancer patient myself I know not to be super optimistic about rapid recoveries not like B.C. (before cancer) when 40 year old bodies behaved appropriately. As a youngin’ dealing with untimely menopause — talk with your team about ALL the ways to treat sleep disruption and hot flashes because those are gnarly and might be zero, or could be months to years. Could this be home stretch?? Is that sinking in? Have you burned your chemo hats yet? Thinking I will have a nice BBQ if I get some fuzz back.
Oh, this is hilarious, and I 100 percent endorse the dark humor as coping for life being so life-y you cannot cope in plain English. Prayers for all of the above.
Hilarious and can’t wait for more company updates. In fact, what are the chances this company is hiring? Would like to submit my resume as all of us would be so fortunate to be part of a culture with humor, truth, faith, trust, and hope as its clear foundations. Prayers for answers to your low blood count, successful surgery/recovery, retirement of all things necessary (they’ve worked hard and deserve R&R) and a birthday celebration that does not include a colonoscopy as the main attraction!! Also, how nice of the hospital to mix up their mornings and nights putting AM on your birth certif - must have known you’d need that advantage later!
Prayers always and Happy Birthday! I'm so excited to know we are March birthday buddies!
I have a message from your pinky toes who have been tucked up all winter and thus missed the recent company-wide all-hands meeting. They told me they will miss their lifelong co-workers, but are very much looking forward to meeting the new members of the team poolside at the next corporate outing. They also want to emphasize that they have been solidly supportive of the team since day one (I told them not to exaggerate, that beyond a few entertaining wiggles, they were unable to reach their full promise until about day 365).
Praying for a birthday full of tea and cakes.
Really hoping you don’t have to get the colonoscopy! How is it 2024 and we don’t have a better test for the intestines??
As an external reviewer, my initial response to these communications is that I. cannot. handle. them. Omg Laura!!! 😂
Also, forever on your #TNPteam 😘
Thinking of you, Laura, as March 15 approaches. So many thoughts and prayers -- and mine -- will be with you, and also during your recovery! We are all so grateful for your gift of words and humor, especially in this hilarious (and insightful) series of memorandums! You remind us to step back and touch base with holy humor. Oh, oh -- I feel a metaphor coming on (baseball) and so know I had better sign off. Your talent is a great gift!
To: management@corpus.com
From: lungs@corpus.com
We appreciate the updates sent thus far and the ways you have acknowledged the hard work of our colleagues. They have tirelessly served this corpus for many years.
As per usual, lungs have also been hard at work and we wish to underscore the breadth of support provided by our department these many months. We have doubled down our efforts to provide precious O2 to corpus throughout various procedures, anxiety attacks, crying jags, and parasympathetic engagement. Lest we not be taken for granted, like head and heart, we are essential for corpus to function through these unforeseen challenges to our beloved corpus.
We will continue to maximize our efforts to support corpus through supporting the 2024 Company Vision. We are poised to position this corpus for continued engagement in the months ahead and are tracking our progress appropriately.
We wish to send kudos to head and heart for their resilience and fortitude these many, many months and also to give a shout out to @feet for helping corpus walk alongside outside consultants even when they felt paralyzed.
Love how your brain works! Sorry to hear about the shitty red blood cell issues!! GRR! Will be praying for those to turn around, and NO COLONOSCOPY (on birthday or otherwise) + all the other things. XO
I love that you can write so humorously about something so serious! All the best with all the things! 😅
I cried I laughed so hard. This is genius. Thinking of you as the journey continues.
I’m in awe of your writing, Laura. Outstanding! You are always in my prayers.
Brilliant writing! Prayers ongoing. 💜
I love this so much!! Dark humor can be a good side kick in times like these. Prayers coming for the pesky red blood cells. Medical mysteries are only intriguing in movies/tv - in real life, they just suck.